“I’ve done many things, it hasn’t been easy…
I used to wear mom’s heels, shoulder bag and jacket on as the teacher used to do and there I was, ready to give lessons to my two little cousins as pupils: dictates, grammar, times table, story and geography. Or again, agenda in hand, I turned into a company secretary, ready to book appointments and answer the incessantly incoming phone calls, sensitive already at the time to a demanding job market that looks for a certain flexibility.
Finally, at night time, books and agendas closed and heels twisted by improper use put aside, the most beautiful moment of the day arrived. Locked in the bathroom for the night-preparation ritual and sure that everyone was already abed (except dad, who was too busy reading newspaper till late at night to notice something else), I finally managed to slip some makeup out from mom’s makeup bag and begin the meticulous embellishment of my face like if it was for a gala event. Too bad I had to undo everything as soon as I was done, cleaning up my face and getting into bed before being discovered.[…]
Yet those spaces of stolen freedom were never enough, and we didn’t enjoy them with serenity. Good manners required not to be seen a lot around to be considered serious girls, possibly never alone nor with guys. In the village, gossip was around the corner and going away from there began to be the only goal.
Life far from home is now longer than the one spent in that small place. Spaces, timings, everything has finally become freer and more autonomous, yet not necessarily simpler. I became stronger and stronger amongst the tears of disappointments and the exultation of successes, the heartfelt confessions on the phone with my friend and my sister: the women of my life, witnesses and omnipresent partners of every choice, of every love, of every doubt and of every joy, despite the distance and the years that separated us, that have seen us grow up far from each other and become women.
Between the small daily rituals, the triviality of shopping, the narration of love pains, the job insecurity, the doubts about the future, the most common anxieties and perplexities, and the semiotic analysis of every word spoken and heard, often so much loneliness remains.
Today, thinking that it was not easy to grow up as a girl, makes me smile, makes me feel like I grew up in a distant era, and despite all the time passed and how far my youth is, it makes me think how wonderful is to finally have become a woman!”
-words by a young woman — Simona Chiarello Ciardo
